Have y’all ever experienced a time in your life where the world and all of your worries just faded away and time stood still, and all you remember was pure – unwavering happiness? I have been blessed with a handful of moments like that, however my favorite so far was the moment Ethan and I got engaged! I remember the day and all of the events leading up to it so VIVIDLY, but all I remember during the moment was, my sweet forever, Ethan – every worry, every fear, every terrible thing in life just faded away, and all that was left was me and him – frozen in time. I remember thinking the aisle in the church seemed so long as I couldn’t help myself from running to embrace him! I remember my cheeks shaking because the muscles in my face were growing tired of smiling so much, and I remember how on top of the world I felt, and how nothing in that moment could damper my mood. I wish everyone could feel that way all the time, however in our world today the overwhelming burdens we face serve as constant reality checks, but Our God is a faithful God who seeks to bless us and provide for us.

For all my gals out there I hate to break it to you, but a season of engagement is no different – as much as everyone makes it seem like they are on cloud nine 24/7 and they have it all together, all the time that is not the case – and that is NORMAL. It is ok to not be ok. Life is life, and when you are trying to learn to mend two lives together there is a lot of discrepancies and challenges you will face that are far different than what you could ever expect. I know – now you are probably like this girl is CRAY – no, I have just experienced firsthand how difficult it is compromising with a loved one who has been raised differently than you, sees life differently than you, and experiences God differently than you, and that’s OK! Life would be so completely boring if you married your clone, and life would be so boring if you knew everything there was to know about your soon-to-be other half. My favorite time spent with Ethan is literally whenever he tells me stories: his memories, his embarrassing moments, his testimony – I could listen to him talk all day everyday, and I will still never be able to fully know him. My sweet, “Marriage Mentor” (I guess you could call her), once told me – “as wives it is not our job to fully know our husbands, that is up to God, but it is our job to fully love them.”

This engagement process has been a whirlwind of opinions, obstacles, and overcoming, but it has also been a season of discovering Ethan, denying myself, and delighting in the many blessings that the Lord has provided us with throughout this process. It has not been easy, but I would do it with Ethan time and time again. The planning can take over your life, and the stress can weigh heavy on your heart, but the blessing of engagement is unbeatable. It’s so easy to get caught up in the pinterest of things, and the expectations you feel you must live up to, and the weight of how emphasized a wedding is nowadays, but my favorite part of this engagement season has not been the constant interactions with vendors, or the stress of deciding on the perfect shade of a certain color, its been preparing for OUR life as partners, as a team, as a family. October 26^th at 4:30pm I will walk down the aisle, and I will once again have one of those moments where the world and all of my worries and stresses from months of planning will fade away, and time will stand still and all I will remember will be the shakiness of my cheeks from smiling so hard, the pounding of my chest from all of the excitement that’s been building up, and Ethan, and it will be so hard to not run down the aisle towards him again – because in that moment all we will feel will be unwavering, pure, fulfilling, anointed happiness, and my life as a Rutter will begin.

The festivities fade, the guests leave, the invitations get recycled, the events of the night become a blur, but the union that was blessed by God and witnessed by family and friends will forever remain. The commitment does not end, and the vows should always be upheld, but the night you worked so tirelessly on planning the past couple of months will fade. So girls – my current brides to be and my future brides to be – don’t limit yourself to planning for one night. Your engagement season is not solely meant for planning a wedding it is meant for planning the future. Don’t go into an engagement with a misplaced heart – pray deeply for discernment in knowing that your heart is in love with the man of your prayers, not the wedding of your dreams.

xoxo,

lex

photo captured by: Jennifer Nicole Photography